EATEN ALIVE (1976)

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EATEN ALIVE

Reviewed by Heather Picker

Directed by Tobe Hooper. Screenplay by Alvin L. Fast, Kim Henkel and Mardi Rustam. Starring Neville Brand, with Mel Ferrer, Carolyn Jones, Marilyn Burns, William Finley, Stuart Whitman and Robert Englund. 1977, 89 min., Rated R (for violence, gore and nudity).

The dismal horrible follow-up to director Tobe Hooper's 1974 classic "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Eaten Alive" will delight hardcore schlock fans and put insomniacs to sleep.

Neville Brand stars as Judd, an unkempt Norman Bates type without all the oedipal issues and twitches and tics. He runs the dilapidated Starlight Hotel, and his primary sources of entertainment are his scythe and his pet crocodile. That makes him a little like my brother, except Neville's croc is the real deal and my brother's was the kind a kid might play with in the bathtub or a swimming pool. The Starlight doesn't do the briskest of business, serving mainly as a haunt for prostitutes, but the occasional family checks in, sometimes bringing along a pet dog for Judd's reptile companion to nosh on. Forget about the artful restraint Hooper famously used in making "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," 'cause ain't none of that used in "Eaten Alive." Here we're treated to some straight-up slaughter, bayou-style, with fake blood spurting awkwardly as Judd, branding his scythe and producing "Sling Blade"-esque guttural noises at every turn, kills himself a whole mess of people in a single night.

At first there's a bit of fun to be had with the cheesy set - and the camp possibilities are endless - but the screenplay, credited to no less than three writers, appears to have been eaten by the crocodile. None of the actors looks remotely engaged, even when they're screaming for their lives, leading one to wonder if Hooper didn't drug them and force them to read from illegible cue cards. The cast of characters includes Miss Hattie (Carolyn Jones), an elderly pimp in garish clothes, and the prostitute she fires for refusing to submit to the demands of the sadistic-looking Buck (Robert Englund). There is also a young family, with "Chainsaw" actress Marilyn Burns as the mother and "Halloween" actress Kyle Richards as her terrorized daughter, that Judd is hell-bent on killing. The strangest appearance comes courtesy of a robotic-beyond-robotic Mel Ferrer, who must have spent all day checking his watch before being dispatched to the murky waters the Starlight's croc calls home. Also known as "Brutes and Savages," "Death Trap," "Horror Hotel Massacre," "Legend of the Bayou," "Murder on the Bayou," and "Starlight Slaughter," all titles it was given for drive-in showings in an attempt to recoup production costs.

"Eaten Alive" is available on DVD and out-of-print on VHS. We originally reviewed the DVD that came out in 2001. Since then the film has been released at least two more times, once as a double-feature, and another DVD is in the works. As a side note, readers have questioned whether Judd has an alligator or a crocodile. I'm going by what Elite says, not that I'm sure any of them bothered watching the movie.

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